Fish Moilee and Snake Gourd and Lentil Thoran
So my mission to cook and heal successfully completed day 1 and I am on to day 2.
I had some pomfrets in my freezer and one long snake gourd in the vegetable tray. Like any day I would've cooked that like one more chore. A task I had to finish off and go on to other 'important things'. But today unlike the days before the 'the important thing' was to cook this fish with as much passion and love I could muster.
Cleaning the fish,mentally cleaned out all the dirt in my mind. The feeling of hopelessness some how remained. When I marinated the fish with a salt and turmeric I could almost feel my wounds burning. But burning was good. Burning meant it was healing. I took out an earthen pan which I had never used before. This somehow meant I was testing waters and ready to venture out from my hopelessnes. I put the pan on the flame. Poured some coconut oil and spluttered some mustard and added a a pinch of fenugreek seeds, a sprig of curry leaves. After it had done with the sizzling and spluttering, I added the sliced onion and some split green chillies. The heady aroma of onion being cooked in coconut oil transported me to the land of hope. Suddenly hope didn't seem a distant faraway land. It was near. Added some very thin coconut milk and then added the cleaned and marinated Pomfrets. The fish cooked in this thin loose gravy for a while and then I added some tomatoes. Closed the lid let the fish cook for a bit. And then...I poured this luxuriantly thick creamy coconut milk. Not too much of it though, probably 1/3 cup. And voila the fish moilee was ready and so was my soul...ready to start a day.
The snake gourd was kind of shrivelled up. I Thought it looked like the state of my heart. How do you work on something so out of juice. Just required a little imagination. After the fish dish..I had some hope left. Enough to work magic on this long snake gourd. So took the simple humble toor dal boiled and added that to the chopped snake gourd and stir fried it dessicated coconut seasoned with herbs and spices.
The simple dal salvaged the shrivelled snake gourd (read heart). I felt whole again. Not bad for day 2 of healing.